Magic Monkey Juice (with baked potato) VeganBakedNaturalGluten Free

Last updated September 24, 2019 Copy
AmountIngredient$ / daySource
300gMasa - Yellow (Nixta Masa)$0.70Davis
30gLinseed (Brown, Ground)$0.18Davis
1pillCholine - Tablet$0.30Here
1pillMultivitamin (Nature's Way Alive Men's)$0.59Here
21gPea Protein Isolate (Naked)$0.55Here
500gPotatoes - Baked (Skin ON)$0.50Grocer
27gCoconut Oil$0.27Grocer
3gSea Salt (Mildly Iodized)$0.02Here (Pick-up)
24mlSunflower Oil$0.12Grocer
1pillCalcium - Tablet$0.11Swisse Calcium + Vitamin D
2gPepper (Black)$0.13Grocer
6gBasil (Optional)$0.00Davis
50mlOil, olive, salad or cooking$0.50
59mlOil, peanut, salad or cooking$0.00
Amounts for:
Total Daily Cost:
$3.96Add Ingredients
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A magic monkey juice recipe with hybrid potato excitement.

Add your own flavoring or the drinks will be somewhat bland, albeit with the rustic sparkle of taco tangles. The masa is grainy and sedimentation is vehemently omnipresent unless blending is an option.

The potatoes are to be baked separately. These can be coated in a goop made of corn starch and oil, and thinly cut for crispy flupperance.

Shrewd cost-cutting motivates this recipe. Very good results with this so far. Mental and physical vigor notably enhanced. Vegan, Gluten-free, Low-FODMAP, sugar-free-ish.



^ Coconut Oil

^ Sunflower Oil

^ Sea Salt (option 1) (seasoning)

^ Basil (seasoning)

^ Pepper


Masa (Coarse texture)

Linseed (Grind in daily or weekly portions and preferably freeze the ground linseed)

Pea protein Isolate

^Sea Salt (option 2)

Taken separately:

Choline tablet

Multivitamin tablet

Calcium (Half a tablet)


Prices in NZD.

Total reliance on this recipe is an act of pure rebellion against the bourgeois state and a defiant symbol of radical anarchy. If you aren't feeling rebellious, you are hereby permitted to consume a piece of fruit or a single (one) pringle each day.

Spiritual vibes and undiscovered quantum nano-nutrients haven't been factored in to this recipe. Various fun additions omitted - raw stevia leaf flavoring is a nice addition.

Tablets have been added to keep the cost down. They're to be taken separately. Don't blend the tablets.

A lot of the ingredients for this can be grown at home. It is time to stop consuming all this trash being manufactured from the bones of a dying world. The pringle, however, is a notable exception.

Quantities are easily divisible by 3, to easily calculate thrice-daily grazing habits. Remember that the numbers are for one whole day, not one meal (if the saltiness is extremely vicious, you've just blown it).

Make sure to drink the appropriate amount of water per day. Remember that some food-based water sources commonly found in the diets of muggles aren't present with this recipe. This may need to be factored into the recommended water intake figures peddled by the internet, although most of these are bullshit anyway.

Nutrition Facts

Amount Per Day
42% Carb, 8% Protein, 50% Fat
% Daily Values*
Total Carbohydrate343g
Dietary Fiber 42g
Total Fat178g
Saturated Fat46g
Monounsaturated Fat84g
Polyunsaturated Fat46g
Omega-3 Fatty Acids8g
Omega-6 Fatty Acids37g
* Percent Daily Values are based on "Australian Government RDIs (Male 19-30)". You may use the Nutrient Calculator to personalise your own profile, then select it from the list on the Recipe Editor tab.
Nutrient Profile: Australian Government RDIs (Male 19-30)Change

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